I don't mean in a chronological way. That's very subjective. If you ask my sister she thought she was old at 25. I think she even spent that day in bed. I, on the other hand, have never really cared about numbers. To me, they were just that. I have been told most of my life I was an old soul. Maybe that's why the age thing never bothered me. However, I have recently noticed that I am starting to do things that when I was younger I thought only old people did.
This all started to ring true for me a few weeks ago when I had to confront an older kid in my neighborhood for picking on my young children. After the confrontation, I came back inside and thought, wow, that is something my mom would have done. I never really viewed my mom as old (she died when she was 43), but she was my mom so therefore, must have been old! The fact that I am on the PTA and help out with things at my daughter's school make me feel old. I remember not too long ago walking into her school and thinking, I'm not old enough to be volunteering for a school party of a 1st grader. It's almost like it snuck up on me. It was happening all around me and I didn't even notice.
In the past couple of years, I have begun gardening. That's another thing that makes me feel old. I love it, but when I think about it, I remember my retired neighbor growing up working in his garden a lot. I also have a bird feeder that I worry about if it has food in it or not. I also a hummingbird feeder that I check constantly. The fact that I have tried for 3 days to get a picture of the oriole that is eating out of it, makes me feel old.
I care more about politics and recycling than TMZ and the latest styles. I care more about spending time with my family, than I do about going out to the bar. I care more about making sure my kids have fun than I do about what band is coming to town. I care more about what the weather is going to do so I know how to dress my kids than I do about how late I can stay up.
Things change. People change. Times change. We all evolve and grow. If these things make me old then so be it. I'm happier with my life right now than I have ever been. It's like my life has finally caught up with my soul and all is well with my soul.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Why do we lie to our kids?
I originally started this blog as a way to follow my pursuits regarding roller derby. Two years later I realize that not everyone wants to know every detail of the journey nor do they want to hear me talk about my internal thoughts about it constantly. Therefore, I have deleted previous posts about derby and I'm re-starting my blog with what is most important to me, my kids. Have no fear, there will be posts about derby too, but I'm about a lot more than derby, so my blog will be too.
I am very passionate about this topic. I have never agreed with it and try my best not to do it, but every parent lies to their kids. My most specific concern is with holidays. Why do we lie to our kids about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc.? I understand the tradition behind it, and I understand the concept, but I don't understand why we have to make it so complicated. The kids would be just as surprised by the gifts under the tree the morning of Christmas or the money they find under their pillow even if they knew their parents put it there. Additionally, if you are a Christian, why would you want to taint the meaning of these holidays with fictitious characters that leave your children gifts instead of telling them the true reason for the season and celebrating that event. If you are not Christian and still chose to celebrate these holidays and traditions, why wouldn't you just tell your kids you are celebrating the end of the year or the beginning of Spring with gifts?
My problem comes in because my children are socially aware enough to know that not all kids get gifts for Christmas. We, as a society, have told our children (through TV, school and friends, if not from our own mouths) that if you are not good, you won't get any presents. So when they see or hear of children that do not receive gifts for Christmas, children assume those kids are bad and didn't deserve gifts. How do we teach our children compassion for those less fortunate than us when Santa Claus doesn't even bring them gifts?
My biggest dilemma as a parent regarding this issue is to not totally blow it out of the water for my kids, because I don't want my kids to be "those" kids that go to school and tell all of the other kids there is no such thing as Santa Claus. Instead of being bluntly honest with my kids about these issues, I simply don't speak those words in my house. My kids are old enough that they are aware of those characters. However, when they ask me specifics about any of them, I just say I don't know the answer to their question instead of trying to make things up. I think it allows my kids to enjoy the presents and act of giving and receiving without being confused or growing up thinking I lie to them about everything. So, instead, they will grow up thinking I'm stupid. Oh well, every parent has to deal with that regardless of how smart they are and how many endless answers they have for quantum physics questions.
I am very passionate about this topic. I have never agreed with it and try my best not to do it, but every parent lies to their kids. My most specific concern is with holidays. Why do we lie to our kids about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc.? I understand the tradition behind it, and I understand the concept, but I don't understand why we have to make it so complicated. The kids would be just as surprised by the gifts under the tree the morning of Christmas or the money they find under their pillow even if they knew their parents put it there. Additionally, if you are a Christian, why would you want to taint the meaning of these holidays with fictitious characters that leave your children gifts instead of telling them the true reason for the season and celebrating that event. If you are not Christian and still chose to celebrate these holidays and traditions, why wouldn't you just tell your kids you are celebrating the end of the year or the beginning of Spring with gifts?
My problem comes in because my children are socially aware enough to know that not all kids get gifts for Christmas. We, as a society, have told our children (through TV, school and friends, if not from our own mouths) that if you are not good, you won't get any presents. So when they see or hear of children that do not receive gifts for Christmas, children assume those kids are bad and didn't deserve gifts. How do we teach our children compassion for those less fortunate than us when Santa Claus doesn't even bring them gifts?
My biggest dilemma as a parent regarding this issue is to not totally blow it out of the water for my kids, because I don't want my kids to be "those" kids that go to school and tell all of the other kids there is no such thing as Santa Claus. Instead of being bluntly honest with my kids about these issues, I simply don't speak those words in my house. My kids are old enough that they are aware of those characters. However, when they ask me specifics about any of them, I just say I don't know the answer to their question instead of trying to make things up. I think it allows my kids to enjoy the presents and act of giving and receiving without being confused or growing up thinking I lie to them about everything. So, instead, they will grow up thinking I'm stupid. Oh well, every parent has to deal with that regardless of how smart they are and how many endless answers they have for quantum physics questions.
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